Oct. 3, 1943


 


Oct 3, 1943


Dear Shirl,


 I told you all about that something inside that says, "that's it." I guess it works in reverse too. Every time I think of that last letter I sent you something pretty strong keeps calling me a heel. It wasn't so hot, was it? When I was small, if I couldn't have or do something I would become indignant and pretend I didn't want it anyway. I guess I haven't grown up yet. If I can't have you, the devil with you, you're no good anyway - that's how I felt when I wrote. I guess evryone felt that way at sometime. I never got the letter you sent to Florida, but I'll bet you didn't mean all the stuff that was in it. Maybe you should have , though. You were right about my testing you and putting you on the spot. I could try and explain that too, but it's more evidence of my not having grown up.


 I guess I'm not the wolf type either. I just haven't the nerve. About 99.99% of the gals scare me. I don't know what to do or say to them (as if you didn't know) . I'll probably die a respectable old gentleman.


 Any of these things about you that were wrong, weren't so very wrong. I suppose I forced you into them. I always begin to understand things a little bit too late.


 I guess its best to call things quits, but not midst curses and oaths. I bashed things up so I'll just have to take it. 


 You're O.K., damned O.K.. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the guy that gets you.


 That is my pen you found, and I would like to have it please. 


 Good luck, Sugar Plum


 Ray

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